literatura

Acodu utugrafio

Para os mais distraídos, foi aprovado em parlamento a prostituição da língua portuguesa.

Porque as ex-colónias foderam o português de todas as formas e maneiras possíveis, nós, que colonizamos a língua, vamos ter que levar com a merda deles, alguns chamar-lhe-ão “vingança”, outros “retorno” e outro como eu, “palhaçada”.

Fica aqui o link para a notícia avançada há pouco pelo jornal Público.

Eu cá vou continuar a utilizar o Português, e tu? Vais às putas?

Pleonasmos

Achei interessante o artigo na Wikipedia sobre pleonasmos. Este diz-nos que existem dois tipos de pleonasmo, o literário e o vicioso.

Seguimos na leitura e descobrimos que quando é um poeta/escritor/artista a utilizá-lo então o pleonasmo é uma coisa boa, bonita de se ler e ouvir, é arte. No entanto, se é o estupor do povo a usá-lo (com termos como “subir para cima”) então é um vício, um defeito de linguagem e é feio e mau utilizar.

Para o caralho com os intelectuais todos. “Subir para cima” e “descer para baixo” é um pleonasmo como o “mar salgado”, um dito por um homem do povo e outro dito por… outro homem do povo. Utilizar pleonasmos é fazer uso da língua rica que temos.

“Subir para cima” e “descer para baixo” é ser e falar português.

Comentários

Aqui no PortaSecreta recebemos muito spam nos comentários (por isso os comentários de utilizadores não identificados passam primeiro pela nossa moderação), este que vos vou mostrar vinha repleto de links para vírus disfarçados de links para imagens de conteúdo sexual.

Apesar disso o spam começa a tomar formas mais interessantes e disfarçam esses links também em texto, e esta é a história dum comentário que fui resgatar, vale mesmo a pena.

David woke up when the car hit a bump. He groaned and rubbed his eyes and looked out the window. All he could see was green hill sides so he guessed they were almost there.
His mom had told him he was going to be staying at her best friends house in the country again. The last time he had been there was when he was 13. Now at 15 David had begged her to take him with them but they couldn’t. His mother and father were starting a new project over seas and wouldn’t have much time for anything else.
His mother looked back at him and smiled. “We’re almost there. Lisa and Megan are going to be excited to see you again.” David rolled his eyes and looked out the window again.
After a few moments they pulled up to a big house and they got out. David grabbed his suit cases and they started for the front door when it opened. Out stepped Mrs. Dears and her two daughters, Lisa and Megan. The last time he had seen them was when they were little. The twins had grown up, and at 14 each girl had large breasts. Lisa kept her hair shoulder length while Megan let hers grow to the middle of her back.
Mrs. Dears and David’s mother hugged and talked for a few moments. She then gave him a hug while his father told him to behave for Mrs. Dears. Then him and David’s mother got in the car and drove off.
“Well why don’t we show you where your room is.” Mrs. Dears said then lead David into the house and showed him around, Lisa and Megan following. “This is the room where you’ll be staying. Hope you like it.” then her and her daughters walked off, leaving David alone.
David entered and tossed his suitcase onto the bed and began to unpack his stuff. After he had finished unpacking he laid down on the bed and fell asleep.
David woke up to someone knocking on his door. He looked out the window and saw that it was dark. He rubbed his eyes. “Come in.” He said then sat up as Megan entered. She looked beautiful in her silk night clothes.

“I can’t sleep David. I’ve been having these bad dreams.” she said sitting down on the edge of the bed and looking at him. “What kind of dreams Megan?” she blushed and shook her head. “You’d think I’m silly or something.” David moved closer to her, sitting on the edge of the bed as well and looked at her. “You can tell me.”
Megan took a deep breath and nodded. “I dream about having sex, getting raped by someone. I wake up wet a lot.” David smiled. “ I take it you’re a virgin?” she blushed and nodded. She laid her head on his shoulder and grabbed his hand and held it.
“I’ve always liked you. Every time we talk on the phone I get wet. In a lot of my dreams you’re the one having sex with me.” she said blushing again. “Do you now?” David said then leaned down and kissed her.
The kiss lasted for a moment, Megan’s breath was taken away. She moved closer to him, pressing her body against his. “Take me, David. I want you to take my virginity.” she breathed out against his neck.
David smiled and started to kiss her again, his hand moving to her panty clad nether lips. She moaned into the kiss and started to remove her panties. David slipped her night gown off her and tossed it onto the floor then took his shirt off.
Once they were both undressed David laid her down on the bed and started to kiss her neck as her hands groped at his manhood. He let out a moan as her hands guided his cock into her warm pussy lips. He kept getting deeper till he encountered her hymen. She nodded her head and David pushed his cock past it, a cry of pain coming from her mouth.
“Are you ok?” He asked, concerned that he had hurt her. She shook her hand and wrapped her arms around his neck, her legs going around her waist pushing his cock deeper into her pussy. “Fuck me.” She breathed out.
David started a to fuck her pussy slow, entering and almost leaving. “Harder!” She screamed out. David grinned and started to fuck her pussy hard, just like she told him to.
She ached her back as his cock drove into her pussy. To stop her self from screaming she bit his neck, not hard just to let him know he felt very good! “Oh god!” She said, her mouth leaving his neck. Her muscles contracted around his cock and she had her first orgasm.
David couldn’t hold out and his climax hit at the same time, his seed shooting into her pussy while he groaned. David pulled out, which caused Megan to whimper. She pulled the covers over them and they both fell asleep.

Derrepente, do nada, começa outra história bastante fraquinha mas que vinha no seguimento da anterior.

My name’s Peter, and I’m 17. Well, my parents told me they were going out for their anniversary on the upcoming Saturday night, and I would be at home alone. I planned to just look at porn all night, but I got a better idea.
There are a lot of people in my neighborhood, but there are two girls my age who I’d give anything to fuck. One is Mariah, a skinny dirty blond with C cups and a tough ass (she swims year round). The other is Alison, who’s not as skinny as Mariah, but she has bigger boobs and her amazing bubble butt jiggles like crazy.
School had just let out for the weekend, and I saw Alison. I went up to her and asked “Hey, you wanna maybe chill at my place tomorrow night?”
“Yeah.” she said. “I won’t be home till about 8, so I’ll come over then.”
“Great.” I said. Next, just as I was about to walk home (I live within walking distance of school), Mariah came up to me.
“Hey. Did we have any physics homework?” she asked.

“No, we’ve just gotta study for next week’s test. You wanna get a head start on that tomorrow night at my place?”
“Sure. I’ll be over, let’s say, 7?”. I nodded.

Ora digam lá se não é de fazer corar a colecção Harlequim?

Dead Man

“(…) Every night and every morn
Some to misery are born.
Every morn and every night
Some are born to sweet delight.
Some are born to sweet delight,
Some are born to endless night.
We are led to believe a lie
When we see not through the eye
Which was born in a night to perish in a night,
When the soul slept in beams of light.
God appears, and God is light
To those poor souls who dwell in night,
But does a human form display
To those who dwell in realms of day.”

in “Auguries of Innocence” by William Blake.